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The nonjudgmental approach
“Be curious, not judgmental.”
- Walt Whitman
We have learned not to judge a book by it’s cover, but it’s human of us to make assumptions based off our initial impressions, whether it’s people, places or things. Many people love jumping to conclusions before gathering all of the details or knowing all the facts. Is it a lazy approach? Perhaps. It also dismisses everything that lies beneath whatever it is we happen to be passing judgment on in the moment. To make matters worse, we tend to make our judgments from a negative approach, especially when observing others. We can’t help it. It makes us feel better.
The big downside of being judgmental is getting it all wrong. We have all been there. It happens to me when I am quick to assume. I misjudge people’s intentions and actions. I create false expectations about others. It’s different to know a person’s history and make more informed judgments, but even the people we know best pleasantly surprise us at times by defying our assumptions about them. These revelations have helped me learn how to not jump to conclusions so quickly. It’s not always easy, but I have learned a couple of tricks to help me.
I like using a Buddhist technique called beginner’s mind. Maybe you have heard the Zen proverb about not being able to fill a cup which is already full. Essentially, it helps us…
